On Friday afternoon we took a break from unpacking, and went to see a Family Friendly updated version of the Barber of Seville being presented free in parks around the city as part of Copenhagen Opera Festival. When we got there, there was a large truck on fire, and lots of Danes standing around watching. Some men in women in uniforms were standing around watching the smoke billow out of the front part of the cab. They boys wanted to know what was happening, but I wasn’t sure. Was this a real fire? Was it part of the show? I didn’t want to answer them because I didn’t want anyone to overhear me being dumb and not understanding why the truck was on fire. A mean lady jabbed me in the bum, and then gestured for me to sit down, which we did. But it didn’t really work as everyone else was standing. We went to stand over somewhere else. Then some musicians started playing music. I think they were the ones in the uniform looking at the fire. I’m not sure, I couldn’t see that well. The Danes really are very tall. And also, I’ve noticed that lots of them have grey hair. I wonder if that is because we are going to lots of places where grey haired Danes hang out, or because they are less likely to dye their hair? Then a man started singing, and weaving throughout the audience giving out cards. Oh GOD! Please don’t let him come to me! I won’t understand what he is doing and everyone will know that I’m illiterate. The smoke lessened. No one sat down. The boys couldn’t see anything so they sat on my feet. I could see some of it. I liked the ideas that the stage was the back part of a semi truck and thought about how clever that is. I couldn’t understand anything. Except “Ukelele” (it helped that he was holding one up), and “tousin tak”. Why isn’t anyone sitting down? My feet are Kylling me (the Danish word for chicken, I am so funny!) and this is supposed to last an hour! There was a man in a Hawaiian shirt – the barber I assume. There was another man in a suit with his shirt unbuttoned to his belly button. I think he was going on a date. Then man beside me had his second Very Large Beer. There was a woman in pink. There were some other people too. I think they were signing very nicely. And they must have been very funny because everyone around me was laughing. I laughed too, not because I though anything was funny, but because it seemed rude not to. And I wanted to fit in. At one point one of the men dressed in drag, and was chased around by one of the other men. They went off stage and threw their clothes back on stage and made very loud explicit sounds. Family friendly? The man beside me finished his Very Large Beer, and lined it up with the other three large cans. When had he finished these other two? How thirsty can he be? Will he have to pee? Should I move away? If he gets beligerent I will beat him with my purse. I have three apples in there and they are very heavy. Then the man and the woman got married and rode off on a scooter. Everyone was walking away, so I knew it was over. So, was it a real fire, and they valiantly continued because “The Show Must Go On”, or was it somehow part of the show? I don’t know. The mystery is Kylling me (tee hee hee). Don’t giggle out loud in public. It calls attention to yourself.
Then one of the boys had to go pee, but where do you find public bathrooms? None of the places we walked by looked like they would have a bathroom. There didn’t seem to be any trees around either. We tried at the train station. There was a bathroom! With a line up! I was a heroic mommy and asked if they would mind if my boy went before them. They smiled. I assumed that meant yes. There was a sign on the door. They were all pointing at it and talking about what it said. I could read “SMS” – that means text, but it was a very long message. So I asked what it said. They explained that it said you have to pay 5 Kronner to use the bathroom, by sending a text to the number, but that we would just hold the door open for each other and then not have to pay. We waited a long time. I was worried the boy would pee his pants, but he didn’t. How do you spell relief? PEE.